Chicago Matchmaker FAIL

Matchmaker fail last night. Really, I don’t fail often so it’s hard to write about it, but a great learning experience. I match at least a couple a week, and I’ve had a pretty good run so far. Some matches are “meeh” some have continued to see each other and some part as friends, but I’ve yet to have a couple HATE each other after 2 hours. especially a couple I thought had so much in common.

He’s a pretty boy, well brought up, high maintenance. Tall, broad shoulders with a deep voice. Very attractive. He works in a stressful and very time-consuming position in the financial district, doing something he doesn’t really love, but it is what is expected of him to do. He says he’s looking for an equal in the relationship, a true partner. Someone who understands his long hours at work and waking up at 5 in the morning to hit the gym, says he wants someone who has also “made it” in the world and has a strong will.

She’s hot. Really, really hot. But not in a sultry way. More in the high maintenance way. She’s also very intelligent and doesn’t take no for an answer. She’s a bit of a ball buster. She told me she wants a man who knows who he is, knows whats he’s doing in life and is ready to start a family- but understands her career is very important and won’t mind if she works long hours. Shes the “everything” kinda woman who you imagine wakes up after 4 hours of sleep every night looking just as amazing as ever and is ready to conquer another day.

Disaster. What I found out AFTER the date is the truth about what they both want. Unsaid expectations make it really hard to properly match a couple. I think that many people have expectations on a potential partner that even they don’t realize.

What he actually wants is someone more like his mother. A woman who worked in real estate until she had her first child and then gave it up to raise a family. He wants someone who is smart, attractive and has it “together” but is willing to give up the career in order to take care of him and the family.  He does want someone strong, someone active and a ball buster, as long as it’s not his balls.

She…. she’s a different story. Raised by a single mother and as an only child, she expects to and wants carry on with her career after having a child. She feels like there always needs to be a “plan b” in case something goes wrong, and giving up her successful career isn’t an option to raise a family. She turned out alright with her mother working long hours, there is no reason why she can’t carry on the tradition. She is attracted to strong men, but is very competitive and truly wants to out do her partner- not in an angry way, but in a way that says “Look! Your great, but I’m great too!”

Disaster. I should have known better. Oh, she’s a republican (die-hard) and he isn’t involved in the political scene (much to the dismay of his family). That was a deal breaker waiting to happen.

Dating tip: When back out in the dating world, it’s important to really know what you want and what sort of future you want. When you can describe how you see your life in the next 5 years, and what sort of partner will make you happy, it’s much easier to find the perfect partner.

So…. about the date.

I’m a fan of laid back “first dates”, and asked the two of them to meet at a local coffee shop at 7pm. They had each others photo and phone numbers.  Both were excited to meet and when hearing about each others backgrounds and traits, were comfortable with the idea of meeting.

He said “Jill, she was 10 minutes late and I was talking to a couple next to me whom I’ve seen around before in the neighborhood. When she came in, I recognized her immediately and thought she was even hotter in person. Until she sat down with a scowl on her face asking who I was talking too… I thought Damn…. not one of these types.”

She said “I was running late and tried calling him but my call went straight to voice mail. When I got to Starbucks, he was sitting across from a pretty cute, younger girl with his arm on her shoulder, laughing it up. I wasn’t jealous, but I was annoyed already at this point.”

Then they both go into details about arguing over the national debt, the Rahm inauguration, whose job is more time consuming, etc etc etc.

FIRST OFF! Don’t talk about politics! Jeez people. Sex, Religion, Money, Family Disaster and Politics. STAY OFF THOSE SUBJECTS on a FIRST DATE!

to be continued…

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Comments

  • Mark  On May 17, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I high maintance man is that one of those girly men that remove body hair and were flipflops.

  • Mark  On May 19, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    Personally talk about politics and family on the first date it will save time.

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