It’s nights like tonight that I hate being single.

An e-mail I received tonight and reprinted with permission. Do you ever feel like this?

Dear Matchmaker:

It’s nights like tonight that I hate being single. 10pm and I’m looking for someone to talk to, someone to cuddle up next to. Thoughts of heading to the local pub across the street enter my mind… maybe I’ll meet someone and sparks will fly. This thought exits just as fast as it enters after I remember the crowd that usually mills around on a weekday after 9pm. Maybe I’ll walk down to Starbucks and start a conversation with that cute guy who I always see sitting in the window seat.  Who am I kidding… I’m 34 years old, way to old for those kids who sit around coffee shops.

I’m tired of cooking for one. I’m attractive and skinny. I am not socially awkward. I have a great group of friends and I’m not a “man hater” or “gold digger”. I just can’t seem to get men in my age group interested in me. It’s like they glaze over me to look at the girls who are 10 years younger… I didn’t think 34 was to old to date, but now I’m starting to wonder.

I’m getting older by the minute and don’t want to stay alone. Do you have advice for someone on nights like this?

P.s. I am coming to the event downtown, so I do try to do “singles events”…

 ——————————————————-

My reply: (After I asked and got the okay to post)

For nights like this…. first off, don’t run out to the bar just to find someone to take home for the night! You are lonely, not horny (well, maybe both… ;p) ) Being lonely is a fixable situation and by looking over your profile, you are going to be an easy gal to find a date for!  First things first, please don’t start talking about how “old” 34 is. YOU are just entering your sexual PRIME baby!  Here is a few ideas to get you cooking meals for two soon!

  1. Change your path.  Literally. Take a new route to work. Take a different bus. Stop at a different Starbucks. The trick here is to KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN! Smile, make small talk and MINGLE with new people, enjoy the new visual sensations. One of my favorite things to do is to eat breakfast at a different local diner every morning. 6 am- you’ll be one of the few people there. Find a diner with a counter, order your coffee and before your check comes I’m going to guarantee you’ll have met 2-3 new people… they might be old, might be gals or might be gay, but every new person you meet makes your social circle that much wider. With a wider social circle comes new (single) friends to meet!
  2. Wear Red. Lame tip? Well, it’s proven to attract the opposite sex. A proven trick up your sleeve never hurts. 😉
  3. Research. Spend the night researching upcoming events in your ‘hood. It will give you something to do with your night and keep your mind off other things. Find an event that should attract the type of men you are interested in. Plan you attack – what will you wear? What single girlfriend will you bring? How will you introduce yourself to the man of your dreams? Think positive!
  4. Call a friend. Not your mom. At least from my experience, calling Mom when you are down about not having an SO (significant other) can be one of the worst things you can do. Moms are well-meaning and can give great advice, but sometimes you want kind words, not advice. Actually,I want to change this to Call your dad. He’ll probably threaten to kill any man who doesn’t jump on the chance to date his darling daughter, and gush about how amazing you are.  That always makes a girl smile!

Can’t wait to meet you! Keep your chin up sexy!!!!!

Jill

Anyone else interested in having some non professional advice? I love to give it and you don’t have to take it!

E-mail me @ Jill@MingleAround.com or find me on Facebook (Jill Jackson), Chicago’s matchmaker and singles events planner. Hope to see YOU at one of my upcoming singles parties.

 Check out upcoming events on the Mingle Around website. Follow me at Twitter @MingleAround

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