You’re so vain. I bet you think this post is about you.

Girl at computer

Searching for love in all the wrong places.

Online dating can and will break even the most self-confident person down. Winking, gifting, messaging, viewing and chatting with someone (or lots of someones) that are interested one day and gone the next can be frustrating and might cause a sort of confidence bust.

I’m here to tell you that it shouldn’t. Online dating is the freak show of the dating world. Really popular, fun to watch and can be even more fun to participate. You’ve got 1,000’s of people listed as single. A smorgashboard of potential suitors. The choices can be just too much. Today you can e-mail men who make over $1,000,000 a year and don’t have children. Tomorrow you can email only men who are artists and live at home with mom and dad. Too much choice can be debilitating.

I’ll never be able to explain why people don’t return the wink or the e-mail. I don’t want to. There would be over a million reasons explaining it, but chances are it wasn’t about you. Maybe she only dates black men. Maybe she is looking for someone with kids. Maybe she hates dogs and you’ve got one in the photo. Maybe she hooked up with her ex boyfriend last night and is hoping that will pan out. Maybe she only dates PhD’s. Maybe she’s only online to make her ex jealous.

Who knows. Who cares?

yeah. I know, you do.

Just keep at it. Don’t let online dating be your only social networking though. It can start to be demoralizing. People can be crueller online, thinking they are hiding behind a wall of security because you aren’t face to face. People can also be who ever they want to be online. They can be the conceited bitch or the player, even if in real life they are pussy cats or guys who let the last girlfriend walk all over them.

If you are constantly rejected online take a close look at your profile. Have an honest friend review it. Did you say something that makes you look like a total ass? Does your profile picture of you in a giant funny fake mustache (really popular for girls on OKcupid I’ve noticed) kinda make you look like a freak? Tweak the profile. Change your approach. If something isn’t working don’t keep doing it. But please, don’t give up on dating, just because your online dating world isn’t holding up to what you hoped it would be. Remember in on-line and off-line dating it isn’t always about you.

Get out of the house, get off the internet and Mingle with local singles. Really. You don’t have to be at a dating event (even though MingleAround does have some great ones coming up!). You can mingle at the supermarket, the zoo, the movies, the art gallery. You can mingle at work (proceed with caution) or at your friends upcoming birthday party. Just get out and do it.

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  • Mildred Goes Fishing  On October 16, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Online dating definitely comes with its highs and lows. Some of my best friends (and best relationships) have come from dating sites, so it’s definitely a great way to connect with people, but at the same time there are a lot of weird people out there!

    I’ve just moved to a new city and am using a dating site to meet people (the first month here was hard, as I didn’t know anyone at all) and this has led to some very good and somewhat bizarre results!

    I actually blog about it now, because I’ve had some pretty wacky dates before which I think would make people laugh, plus I like the idea of creating an online community where people can share their dating experiences: the good, the bad, and the damn right ugly!

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