She’s 16- he’s 28

Someone, nameless, asked for advice yesterday.

He thinks he’s in love with a 16 year old family friend. Not lust, he pointed out, but love. He’s 28.

 Bits of his e-mail: “I’ve been close to her for a long time, given her advice about love and family and friendship… I know she’s attracted to me to becaus she shows off more and more skin, giggles and flirts with me now…. what should I do? I really love this girl, but don’t want her parents and my parents to hate me. I understand that it is illegal until she is 18, but people can’t help but who they fall in love with right?”

 — My answer:

DON’T be a fool! This girl may be attracted to you and may be showing off and flirting, but she is just practicing on you. Girls at this age have just realized their sexual “power” over men and boy oh boy- she’s got you under her finger. Do you realize what deep shit you’ll be in? If you tell her parents, they will ask her about and no doubt, she’ll deny it and make you look like the asshole. If you really love this girl, you’ll wait to make your move. You’ll deny any advances she may make on you. Do not be alone with her. Wait until she is 18, or better yet 21, then see if there is still love.

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  • Jean Paul  On March 25, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Well said Jill. Too many men (and women) get confused and think they’re in love just because they feel strong attraction towards someone.
    This guy will hate what I’m saying but he has to “man up” and grow up, start facing life.
    And find himself a woman not a little girl.

  • Jean Paul  On March 25, 2010 at 11:10 am

    By the way, the sexual power, I’m not sure where you are coming from.

    It’s behaviour of guys like the one you are describing that makes women think they can do whatever they want.

    Both men and women miss out on reality when they think vaginas are worth more than penises.

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